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Game 1

LJ Continues to “Lead” as Tim wins 3rd straight

Recap by: Brandon

Fresh Prince of Helaire (Tim) is red-hot right now, winning three-straight games. Granted it wasn’t against the cream of the crop, but wins are wins. Kyler Murray (55.30) toppled 52+ points for the 4th time in five weeks, proving to be a top-5 fantasy QB. Mike Davis (29.9) had the best day of all RB’s in Week 5, so having him in the Flex spot is a huge bonus for Tim. Chris Carson (19.9) had a solid day as well, but the rest of the roster was bleh. Edwards-Helaire only scored 11, underperforming for the 2nd consecutive week. Lucky for Tim, his opponent’s players all got COVID (or something like that) and he moves to 3-2. Tim faces off against Matt next week – a battle of old friends and former lovers. Should be fun!

Line-Up Grade: C+

LJ Will Lead the Way (Rell) might want to consider a name change after another mediocre performance (fantasy-wise) for Lamar Jackson. Lamar underperformed again (35.5) which will 100% not get it done in this league. RB Miles Sanders (27.9) had his best game of the season and Robert Woods (21.1) had solid production from the WR spot. Darius Slayton was another bright spot for Rell, producing 20+ from the Flex spot. The rest of Rell’s roster was as disappointing as the Giants, including the Bills defense, which allowed 42 points to the Titans to earn -3 fantasy points.

Line-Up Grade: D

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Week 6 Match-Ups

Fresh Prince of Helaire (3-2) vs Bald Mambas (2-3)
LJ Will Lead the Way (2-3) vs Sc0p3 (1-4)

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Game 2

Recap by: Jake

Dog Shit vs Extra Wet Dog Shit

In very flat fashion Dunderball (Micah) has his bye week. Lucky for this team Sc0p3 was busy playing Warcaft or dungeons and dragons this weekend and put up another terrible performance. Michah was able to get his second win of the year by taking advantage of Jared Goff (52.36), Alvin Kamara (21.45), and the Cleveland Browns (20.00). The under performers were newly acquired and over price Zach Ertz(2.60), Le’Veon Bell (7.70), and D’Ernest Johnson (4.60). Maybe Micah will think twice when planning his next acquisition. The biggest X factor for this victory wasn’t even on this team. Harrison has again decided to phone in his already dismal fantasy football team. I guess we learned that even garbage can beat garbage that doesn’t even show up.

Line-Up Grade: C-

Sc0p3 (Harrison) has continued to disappoint this league, his significant other (in bed), and his parents. This team continues to be a bottom-end performer and top-notch stepping stone for every other team. Deshaun Watson (57.86) wasn’t held back by Bill O’Brien for the first time in his career. The Dolphins defense (25.00) was another bright spot in what can only be considered the black hole of fantasy football teams. I’d list all the sadness but obviously, I don’t have enough time or space to write that novel. AJ Green (0.00) is still in the line up even though he continues to disappoint. Its possible that Higbee (3.20) and Mark Ingram (5.70) underperformed but I’m not dense enough to waste any more time on a recap for a team missing basic logic.

Line-Up Grade: F

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Week 6 Match-Ups

Dunderball (2-3) vs Ruggs Burns (4-1)
Sc0p3 (1-4) vs LJ Will Lead the Way (2-3)

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Game 3

David hands Dany his Christmas present early

Recap by: Jake

Flyeaglesfly (Dany) comes in hard and adds another W in the column. This is his 3rd win in a row and he’s excited to start this winning streak. His wide outs carried him in this victory. Cee Dee Lamb (20.70), Emanuel Sanders (23.20), Hollywood Brown (21.30), and Tyreek Hill(18.30) all caught W’s this weekend and performed above projections. His running back Justin Jackson (14.40) surprised with decent production on the road and on primetime. Dany might not have the team to go all the way but he sure isn’t going down easy. Even though the line up he went against was obviously set by a blind anemic homosexual child suffering from anal warts, Dany deserves plenty of praise for his line-up. Next week he plays Marcos who is coming off a devastating loss but still is averaging more than 170 points per week.

Line-Up Grade: A-

Sadly The Dirty Birdies (David) were flying with only one wing. Im not sure what was going through Matt Ryan (25.94) I mean David’s head when he failed to replace Chris Godwin (0.0) even though he had an empty spot on the roster and could have picked up a WR who was actually playing this weekend. Half backs were not this issue here as Josh Jacobs (22.50) David Montgomery (18.90) and Jonathan Taylor (15.40) all dominated the gridiron. Tight End Mo Alie-Cox (0.00) was injured adding another round of “find that tight end” to David’s already flamboyant week. David needs to turn this depressing losing streak in week 6 but he might just be a little too busy bending over for You Fant Touch This. Deandre Hopkins (26.10) has the potential to dig his team out of this hole but odds are David will bench him for Godwin…….lol

Line-Up Grade: D-

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Week 6 Match-Ups

Flyeaglesfly (3-2) vs Murdermarx (2-3)
The Dirty Birdies (2-3) vs You Fant Touch This (3-2)

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Game 4

Recap by: Brandon

Dak Breaks Ankle & Jake’s Heart

Kevin’s Famous Chili (Brandon) took advantage of a nasty injury to Dak Prescott to win two games in a row. It wasn’t a great effort for the roster, but enough to get the job done. Benching QB Joe Burrow was a wise choice, as Gardner “The Stache” Minshew (53.84) had a very nice day, and Joe Mixon (15.4), Kareem Hunt (18.3), Odell Beckham (13.42) and RAHEEM Mostert (14.90) all had solid performances. Really, it came down to his opponent’s QB going down, which was painful to watch. KFC has won two games in a row, and now the commish has false hope that he can win another title. Brandon faces Aleks next week in which should be a high-scoring match-up, but in all reality, Brandon will be coming back down to earth like the 49ers did in Week 5.

Line-Up Grade: C+

You Fant Touch This (Jake) started drinking and/or getting stoned as soon as Dak’s ankle broke. Dak only was able to get 23.44 points, but he wasn’t having a fantastic game before the injury. Jake had nice production from the RB position, Zeke (23.5) and Conner (16.3), and WR Robby Anderson continues to be a top-10 fantasy WR (WTF?). TY continues to be mediocre (12.9) and GTLandry dropped double-digits again, but it all came down to Dak getting hurt and only getting 23 points. Jake is left scrambling now to find a QB as he looks himself in the mirror and says “I will NOT pick up Andy Dalton!”. Jake drops a golden chance to get to 4 wins and now falls back into the 3-2 pack.

Line-Up Grade: F

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Week 6 Match-Ups

Kevin’s Famous Chili (2-3) vs Maholmes (4-1)
You Fant This (3-2) vs The Dirty Birdies (2-3)

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Game 5

Recap by: Brandon

Joey shocks Marcos, Continues to Wing It

Winging It All 2020 (Joey) shows the true definition of ‘winging it’, including leaving inactive players in the active line-up. Some call it gutsy, others call it ‘stoned brain’ … whatever it is, it worked in Week 5 for Joey. QB Drew Brees turned the clock back to age 39 and had a solid game (58.10), WR Adam Theilen (29.30) balled out, RB Mike Gaskin (20.10) had a very nice day, and TE Mark Andrews had another great day (17.60). Joey didnt get much from JuJu (6.80) and left the injured-Julio Jones in the line-up AND Marlon Mack (JOEY WTF), but it didn’t matter. Joey improves to 2-3, saving his season and faces Roy in Week 6, where they can both cry about Dak on Zoom.

Line-Up Grade: A-

Murdermarx (Marcos) had to be disappointed in this loss. A great chance to get to 3 wins was lost and even worse, Marcos had great production from everyone on the roster, but the RB position (8.20 combined). As mentioned earlier, his opponent left two players in that produced zero points, but Marcos wasn’t able to overcome it. Josh Allen (45.32) played alright but wasn’t his typical 2020 self, Calvin Ridley played great (21.60), DJ Moore balled out (23.30), and Marcos got a combined 38 points from the FLEX and TE positions. Marcos also has Herbert on the bench, who looks fantastic and ready to lead the Chargers (to last second losses). Marcos will look to get back on track in Week 6 against Flyeaglesfly.

Line-Up Grade: C+

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Week 6 Match-Ups

Winging It All 2020 (2-3) vs All of a Sutton (2-3)
Murdermarx (2-3) vs Flyeaglesfly (3-2)

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Game 6

Recap by: Jake

The Raiders won. That’s all that matters.

Maholmes (Aleks) had a double dose of success this weak. The Ravens beat the Bengals and Maholmes beat the Bald Mambas. Neither was a surprise. If you bet against a Rosenthal you are more likely to win than not. This team was carried by the Ravens in spirit and reality. Patrick Queen (24.15) and the Ravens defense (40.00) combined for nearly 65 points and nearly 1/3 of the teams total production. The win was secured with Pat Mahomes (55.70) and Travis Kelce (24.80) even though the Chiefs lost. I have decided to just skip ahead to next weeks matchup for this power squad. Aleks has potential to do what everyone does, beat Brandon and Matt in the same season. its not a cliff hanger but at least another Rosenthal is going down. Good times had by all except a Rosenthal.

Line-Up Grade: C+

The Bald Mambas (Matt) would rather me talk about a different matchup. The Raiders fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkked up Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs. Ok ok ok I’ll get back to reality….I mean fantasy…. The Bald Mambas tied for the lead in the league for single digits performers. 5 guys scored less than 10 points so I’ll just talk about the positives. Fuck the Chiefs. Darrell Henderson (21.80), Russell Wilson (49.48) and Cooper Kupp (15.60) highlighted what was mostly a low light. The Raiders won. Baby Shark (4.60) and Diontae Johnson (2.00) both got injured this weekend and had to leave games early and we hope they are ok, if not here comes the waiver wire. Next week the raiders are on a bye so Matt can’t ride the victories of the black and silver and will have to face Fresh Prince of Helaire who is coming off a three-game win streak and loves to play two TEs.

Line-Up Grade: A+/F

Week 6 Match-Ups

Kevin’s Famous Chili (1-3) vs You Fant Touch This (3-1)
The Bald Mambas (3-2) vs Fresh Prince of Helaire (3-2)

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Game 7

Recap by: Brandon

All of a Sutton Upsets Victor, Which Upsets Everyone

All of a Sutton I’m Injured (Roy) shows the world that he’s not just playing because his mom told him to and wins his 2nd game in a row. In a complete beat-down, Roy didn’t need to sweat out this win as he cruised to a easy fantasy win. Teddy Two Gloves (54.82) has figured something out and has dropped back-to-back weeks above 54 points. Teddy wasn’t alone, as Roy’s roster balled out. Dalvin Cook (19.9) & Todd Gurley (25.00, yes, this is not a typo) had great days from the RB position, while DK Metcalf (28.3) balled out from the WR position. Roy didn’t leave Jamison Crowder on the bench this time and he had another great day (27.09). The Rams defense showed up against the racist piece of shit Washington football team, which just added more points Roy didn’t need. The win streak is on the line next week against Joey.

Line-Up Grade: A+

Ruggs Burns (Victor) came into this match-up the heavy favorite and of course, in typical fantasy football fashion, his team no-shows. Victor suffers his first loss of the season, in blowout fashion. Kyle Allen did absolutely nothing (18.66) in his first piss-poor game of the season, which hurts for Victor as he witnessed Allen’s counterpart in Tuesday night football go Off. What hurt Victor even more is Tannehill is on his own bench. Ouch. Aside from the QB play, Victor had great production. Derrick Henry (19.30) played solid and had the best stiff-arm i’ve seen in years. WR Henry Ruggs (25.25) balled out, and WR Mike Evans (15.10) and TE Darren Waller (15.80) had solid games. Hell, even Victor’s IPD had a great game. Sadly, it wasn’t enough to overcome Roy’s load and Goombs loses. He will have a chance to make up next week against Micah.

Line-Up Grade: C

Week 6 Match-Ups

All of a Sutton (2-3) vs Winging It All 2020 (2-3)
Ruggs Burns (4-1) vs Dunderball (2-3)

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