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Game 1

Maholmes edges out a win this week against KFC and his dumb glasses.

Recap by: Jake

The dominance continues as Maholmes (Aleks) imposes to 5-1. They were able to edge out KFC by the thinest margin of the week. This victory was the hard work of several players such as Ronald Jones (26.10) who scampered for 113 yards and 2 TDs. Wide receiver Will Fuller (28.30) hit pay dirt when he grabbed a 53 yd TD pass in the 4th quarter as the Texans fought their way to overtime. Aleks loved his tag team of Maholmes(44.60) and Travis Kelce(19.50) on Monday afternoon as they secured him his 3rd win in a row and the best overall record in the league. Next week he looks to continue his success against The Dirty Birdies who will be bringing Matt Ryan and D Hop with them.

Line-Up Grade: A

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! We go to see Kevin’s Famous Chili (Brandon) lose again. It’s beginning to be the only highlight of my fantasy football weeks. ROTY long shot Justin Jefferson (43.60) did his best to help KFC with 166 yards and 2 TDs. Oddly enough if Brandon had played his 49er star Deebo Samuel( 18.00) instead of OBJ 4.50) or Jerry Jeudy (5.20) he would have won. There was just too many single digit scores like Kareem Hunt (7.70) and Raheem Mostert (9.60) who both struggled and failed to help KFC in any way. Next week Fresh Prince of Helaire should extend to 5-2 after they smash KFC who still sucks. That is all.

Line-Up Grade: B+

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Week 7 Match-Ups

Kevin’s Famous Chili (2-4) vs Fresh Prince of Helaire (4-2)
Maholmes (5-1) vs The Dirty Birdies (3-3)

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Game 2

Ruggs Burns Loses 2 Straight, Wait… what?

Recap by: Brandon

Dunderball (Micah) gets back to 3-3 as he shocks the fantasy world and beats Ruggs Burns. The story of this game for Dunderball was consistency. The entire roster showed up to play, except for Jared Goff. The Rams “star” QB was only able to muster up 39.92 points against a solid 49er defense, but he was the only player that didn’t have a great day (well, him and Tony Pollard). AJ Brown (22.8), Tee Higgins (20.7), Kenny Golladay (15.5) & James White (15.3) all had very solid games, and Blake Martinez (11) had 14 tackles in an impressive performance defensively. Dunderball didn’t score a ton, but he didn’t have to. It’s better to be lucky than good, and it’s good to be both. Dunderball is now .500 and ready to take on Joey in Week 7 with a real chance to get to 4-3. Wow.

Line-Up Grade: C

Ruggs Burns (Victor) must have started pouring the drinks early on Sunday. There it was, a chance for Aaron Rodgers to ball out against old-man Tom Brady, but Rodgers does the Hingle McCringleberry celebration … and then disappears?? Rodgers finished with 14.80 points, which really makes you do a double-take. Rodgers was so bad, he completely washed away Derrick Henry’s AMAZING game on MNF. Henry scored 47.4, high among non-QB’s this week, getting 212 yards and 2 TDs. Sometimes, Henry just looks better and bigger than everyone. TE Trey Burton had a very nice day as well (21.90) and DeVante Adams existed (12.10), but the rest of the roster didn’t do shit. Victor has now lost two in a row after starting 4-0, and faces the struggling Rell in Week 7.

Line-Up Grade: D

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Week 7 Match-Ups

Dunderball (3-3) vs Winging It All 2020 (2-4)
Ruggs Burns (4-2) vs LJ Will Lead the Way (2-4)

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Game 3

Recap by: Brandon

Winging It Works?

Winging It All 2020 (Joey) is sending out some weird vibes in 2020. His team name indicated he gives zero shits, yet here is he, in the fucking mix at 3-3. QB Big Ben (26.98) had a piss-poor day but it did not matter at all. Winging It All 2020 was carried by WR’s Julio Jones (37.70), who was welcomed back with 137 yards and 2 TDs and Christian Kirk, who also caught two TDs but only managed 86 yards (only two catches …. LOL at the Cowboys defense). RB Mike Gaskin (16.60) had a solid day, as did Adam Thielen (14.10), but this game wasn’t really close. Joey will face Dunderball next week, so one of them will have to see an L (unless they both tie, which would be hilarious).

Line-Up Grade: B-

All of a Sutton I’m Hurt (Roy) probably spent most of Sunday yelling at his iPhone, telling his players to “Play better”. You know if you are starting Andy Dalton (in fantasy or real life), things are 100% not going to plan. Dalton (45.04) wasn’t horrible numbers wise, he was just horrible in every other way. Todd Gurley came crashing back down to earth (9.7) and Roy’s RB2 was Duke Johnson … so yeah. Roy did have some production from his WR’s, as Tim Patrick (15.1) dropped 100 yards on the Pats defense, Jamison Crowder existed (11.80), and Amari Cooper (21.9) finally woke up from his coma. All in all, Roy is probably looking forward to whatever else he has going on. Roy faces Marcos in Week 7 to try and get closer to .500.

Line-Up Grade: D

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Week 7 Match-Ups

Winging It All 2020 (3-3) vs Dunderball (3-3)
All of a Sutton (2-4) vs Murdermarx (3-3)

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Game 4

Recap by: Brandon

The Poo Bowl, circa 2020

Murdermarx (Marcos) won an ugly fantasy battle, but an ugly win is better than a pretty loss (I’d know). Marcos didn’t need a whole lot and his team obliged. Josh Allen (32.08) struggled against the Chiefs defense, but still threw two TDs. RB Philip Linsday (10.1) had a great day on the ground against the Pats defense but did not get a TD which hurt his numbers. The WR’s showed up for Marcos, as Calvin Ridley (18.9) and DJ Moore (14.6) had solid days. As did K Justin Tucker (16.00). I must say, it’s probably nice getting 15+ from the kicker. The surprise of the week was Brandin Cooks, who dropped 21.8 from the FLEX spot. Marcos ends his losing streak and hopes to start a new winning streak next week against Roy.

Line-Up Grade: C

Flyeaglesfly (Dany) told his team that COVID didn’t cancel their games, but I think they misunderstood … as they massively underperformed from their projected total of 195.03. QB Tom Brady played alright (35.64), but Tampa dominated the game, so Brady wasn’t needed that much. Let’s begin with the good – Chase Claypool continues his domination of the league, getting another TD and 18.10 points, Cee Dee Lamb had solid production (12.5) and LB Tyrell Adams (13.0) had himself a sack and 8 tackles. Now, the bad – Tyreek Hill only got 5.5 points, K Jake Elliot got -1 thanks a missed FG (isn’t that his job??), and Dany’s starting RB’s got a combined 13.4 points. It’s back to the drawing board for Dany as he faces Jake. This is a good chance to beat Jake and make fun of him, so I am rooting for Dany here.

Line-Up Grade:

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Week 7 Match-Ups

Murdermarx (3-3) vs All of a Sutton (2-4)
Flyeaglesfly (3-3) vs You Fant Touch This (3-3)

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Game 5

one! two! three! Another Rosenthal down for the count.

Recap by: Jake

Fresh Prince of Helaire (Tim) has entered the game late but is making a run at taking the show. They are trying to keep their play a secret but I really think we have a problem as Kyler Muarray(45.92) and Clyde Edwards Helarire(20.90) are literally the only 2 players who held it together on this weak team. The 2 TEs that he started Ebron(2.90) and Hockenson(9.70) held him down and ultimately cost him the victory. Next week may be very different as Michael Thomas(0.00) and Chris Carson(0.00) look to help this Simi average squad out of this jam. KFC may just have their hands full next week but only time will tell.

Line-Up Grade:B

With his latest failure Bald Mambas (Matt) has yet again made the family name the laughing stock of fantasy football. Mike Hilton(0.00) put up a goose egg as the IDP for this hodge podge Matt calls a team. Only a Rosenthal could play Mike Gesicki(0.00) and watch his back up TE on the dolphins Adam Shaheen(14.1) haul in 3 catches for 51 yards and a TD. Even the actual back up on Bald Mambas, Dalton Schultz(7.50) played better but still disappointed. Cooper Kupp(4.60) and Devin Singletary(5.50) continue to underperform and have not lived up to some of their preseason hype. Oh well not like anyone expected any different for a Rosenthal. Maybe Next week Bald Mambas will put together a winning line up, crazier things have happened.

Line-Up Grade: C

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Week 7 Match-Ups

Fresh Prince of Helaire (4-2) vs Kevin’s Famous Chili (2-4)
Bald Mambas (3-3) vs Sc0p3 (2-4)

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Game 6

Who the fuck actually cares.

Recap by: Jake

Sc0p3 (Harrison) did the unthinkable this week and actually won a game. He is now 2-4 but still sucks and should continue to fail. if it wasn’t for the huge production of Deshaun Watson(71.00) and Kenyan Drake(32.40) I would never have typed those words. The truth is Harrison won without even checking his line up all week. I mean if he has checked it he would have seen Keenan Allen(0.00) was on a bye and I wouldn’t feel like I’m wasting my time. Maybe the as the only Rosenthal to win this week and he can show the rest how to win with pure luck. I’m done spending time on a team that fails to start a line up without a player on a bye.

Line-Up Grade: F

LJ Will Lead the Way (Rell) falls to 2-4 and its straight depressing. It’s not often you are gifted a matchup where you can guarantee the other teams lineup received zero thought and effort. This happened and Rell is essentially a laughing stock and takes my L of the week. I mean c’mon, you lost to Harrison. I can’t say I didn’t expect it since this team also started Kicker Will Lutz(0.00) who is also on a bye. I will not be wasting much time on this recap. I just can’t find it in me to entertain people who can’t click on an app a few times to play players who are actually playing. What ever.

Line-Up Grade: F

Week 7 Match-Ups

Sc0p3 (2-4) vs Bald Mambas (3-3)
LJ Will Lead the Way (2-4) vs Ruggs Burns (4-2)

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Game 7

David Moves Past His Bye Week

Recap by: Brandon

The Dirty Birdies (David) uses a monster performance by Matt Ryan (72.6), who only needed the Vikings defense in order to wake up. RB Jonathan Taylor (15.5) had a nice day, as did Bears RB David Montgomery (13.7). The star of the show was the Bears defense, who added a nice 22. The boneheaded move of the day was leaving in Mo Alie-Cox, who was a late scratch, though it didn’t matter. Btw, David has a weird amount of Bears on his team (and in his phone). Jokes aside, David moves back to .500 and faces 1st-place Mahomes in Week 7.

Line-Up Grade: C+

You Fant Touch This (Jake) continues to drop in the standings and in our opinion of him. It’s nothing he did, but he happened to have Dak on his team, so he went from a dude with high-hopes about a potential FFL title, to a team that has lost three out of four and put up a season-low 116 points. Dak’s replacement this week was Baker and oh boy …. it was the wrrrrrrong week to do that. Baker (12.26) did throw a TD, but also threw 2 INTs and only completed 10 passes for 119 yards. #1 pick in the draft Zeke Elliot (8.0) fumbled twice, en route to a miserable day. If it wasn’t for those 8 catches, he does nothing. Literally, nothing. This is a PPR league where one catch equals 1 point (you do the math). James Conner (17.2) and Stefon Diggs (16.6) had nice days, and Robby Anderson topped 10-points again. The Giants defense did show up to play, getting 23 and topping his opponents. Crazy thing is, if he plays Jimmy G, Jake wins. On to week 7!

Line-Up Grade: F

Week 7 Match-Ups

The Dirty Birdies (3-3) vs Maholmes (5-1)
You Fant Touch This (3-3) vs Flyeaglesfly (3-3)